The Birth of the world’s 1,747,984,456th blog! Hooray!
Yep—I figured it was time to revolutionize the internet, and start One. More. Blog.
I would no doubt have taken this step many years ago if not for one incredible hurdle that took years of bile-swallowing and wrinkle-inducing sour-pus faces: the word BLOG.
Seriously, folks. Couldn’t we have come up with something better? Blog? I’m a writer. Surely, I could have come up with something less cringe-worthy (“cringe-worthy” – what an excellent phrase to have gone mainstream). Lemme try a few:
WEB JOURNAL = WERNAL
INTERNET LOG = NETLOG
CYBER DIARY = CYBARY
Wow. These REALLY SUCK. Okay, so I can’t do much better. But that doesn’t deny me the right to complain about the word BLOG. Blog. Bloooogg… It sounds like something your cat might puke up on your carpet. And BLOGGER isn’t much better. I don’t want to be a BLOGGER. Being a blogger is just a couple tiny letters away from being a MUGGER. Or a TUGGER. Or a BUGGER.
It’s like, “Oh My God—did you hear about Arnie the blind man who got run over by a BLOGGER? He was out buying milk, just minding his own business, when—SMACK. That’s what happens when you cross paths with a BLOGGER.”
Or: “Isn’t that terrible about the Zielinski girl? Used to be so bright-eyed. So promising. Apparently, she moved to LA and fell in with a bunch of BLOGGERS.”
It’s gonna take some time to warm up to THAT one.
But anyways… I have decided to rise above the phonetic perversions of the job, and start a new BG on the life and times of a semi-professional screenwriter living and working in Los Angeles. In other words--myself. I’m not someone who’s ever been very excited to write about myself, so I don’t start on this path out of some ego-maniacal mission. I never want to be famous. The idea is horrifying. I figure--if you don’t like shaking Sean the Homeless Guy’s hand at your local Starbucks, then fame is not for you. So why am I starting this blog? Because screenwriting is tough. And getting paid to do it is even tougher. My goal here is share what I have learned about the art of writing, and the art of getting paid for it, and hopefully swap my stories for a few helpful anecdotes from my brothers and sisters in the field… We can make it if we try. And if we fail, at least we might go out with a few yucks to share with our grandchildren.
So. On that note, SCRIPTFAZE is now officially christened! Let the CYBARING begin!